In my dreams I hold a knife by Ashley Winstead  

Book review: In my dreams I hold a knife by Ashley Winstead had such a surprising twist at the end. This Psychological thriller will leave you shook.
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Table of Contents

In my dreams I hold a knife book by Ashley Winstead was on my Spring TBR list. And ohmygod did I love reading this. 

Book name: In my dreams I hole a knife

Author: Ashley Winstead

In my dreams I hold a knife Synopsis:

Pulled from goodreads- A college reunion turns dark and deadly in this chilling and propulsive suspense novel about six friends, one unsolved murder, and the dark secrets they’ve been hiding from each other—and themselves—for a decade.

Ten years after graduation, Jessica Miller has planned her triumphant return to southern, elite Duquette University, down to the envious whispers that are sure to follow in her wake. Everyone is going to see the girl she wants them to see—confident, beautiful, indifferent—not the girl she was when she left campus, back when Heather’s murder fractured everything, including the tight bond linking the six friends she’d been closest to since freshman year. Ten years ago, everything fell apart, including the dreams she worked for her whole life—and her relationship with the one person she wasn’t supposed to love. 

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In my dreams I hold a knife Characters:

Jessica= The main character. If you ask me I would say she’s full of herself and pretends to be nice. 

Heather– Rich Friend that isn’t that pretty but popular in a way. 

Caro–  Religious friend, sort of a goody two shoes.

Mint– Also rich and everyone likes him. 

Coop– the bad boy of the group who sells drugs, rough childhood. 

Jack– the main suspect in the murder of heather. He also happens to be Heather’s boyfriend. Bisexual. 

Frankie– The “jock” He is in the closet and has a mini relationship with Jack.  He is portrayed by this big guy but in reality he’s just a softie. 

Courtney– A sorority girl they befriended. She is not a part of the main friend group but she later dates Mint. 

Eric– Heather’s little brother who won’t stop at nothing to get the truth even if it means years later. 

In my dreams I hold a knife book review 

We start off in the present day, then throughout the book we get flashback chapters. And at first I wasn’t a fan of the main character Jessica. Because She seemed so ingenuine. I felt no- How do you say it- warmth, I didn’t feel like she loved or cared about the people around her. 

Just that she felt like she did. She was always wanting to be the best- or perfect or looked at as perfect.

 Because her father had this dream of being somebody but was a nobody. Even when he died no one went to his funeral. 

So the whole book is her trying to make her dad proud in a way by achieving success and subtly showing that to her peers. 

To say “hey, look at me, I’m somebody!”

But It just made me feel like she was super ingenuine in every friendship she made. 

So she was my main suspect from the beginning in finding out who murdered Heather. Literally everything pointed to her jealousy of people who are better than her. I was suspect of Eric too, Heather’s little brother. 

Don’t ask why, I couldn’t tell you. 

But at the same time, Even with Jess being a sociopathic jealous person who loves attention, I wanted nothing more for her and coop to be together. I couldn’t understand why she ended up with Mint. She didn’t even seem to like him. 

In my dreams I hold a knife book review on Xoraslibrary

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In the flashbacks we get a glimpse of how their friendship formed. But I never felt like we got enough of the characters. Like for example, Caro is apparently a stalker? I’m not sure what that situation was but she would follow them around campus when they all didn’t hang out together. 

And we only get that information later in the end. There was one time I remember Jess mentioning that she was trying to get out of hanging with Heather and her parents- that she lied about a class. And she says that Caro gave her a look because Caro knew her class schedule. 

I didn’t get that vibe, But at the same time I wasn’t looking at her like a suspect to pay attention to that detail. 

Jess and Mint started their relationship and I was not a fan. 

From the very beginning Coop and Jess met, they were flirting. Little comments and stares here and there. 

So when she started dating Mint I was confused. I didn’t think there was any chemistry between them. But I guess it made sense because Jess was always trying to seem like the best- and dating one of the best looking guys at school fell into that. 

College reunion

So we fast forward ten years later to the reunion. 

That’s actually the first page we start on- Jess getting the reunion letter and telling Jack about it. 

Jess is the only one who has kept in contact with Jack since Heather’s death. Everyone thinks he did it so naturally they have distanced themselves from him. 

With people thinking he’s a murderer, He obviously isn’t going to this reunion.

Jess on the hand, she can’t wait to go. Of course she can’t. 

She’s now a lawyer in New York City at a really known Firm. And she wants everyone to know it. She sees it as her chance to show people how successful she has gotten. 

The whole time I’m thinking poor jack. It was so easy to tell that he was being framed for something he didn’t do. The only tie was him being Heather’s boyfriend. 

The secrets are out

The only thing on Jess’s mind is showing everyone how well she has done for herself. But that’s ended short when she sees her best friend Caro. She was trying to avoid her because spoiler I guess, But Caro and Coop ended up dating and now they are getting married. 

Not only that but Mint broke up with her and started dating courtney. 

Then all of a sudden Eric- Heather’s little brother shows up. 

He was a part of the reunion committee. But he had his own plans. 

His intention was to get the group together and finally get to the bottom of who killed heather. He believed the murder was one of them. 

Doing this the group is now on edge and they find themselves spilling each of their dark secrets. 

Each secret shows that they all had a hand in Heather’s murder. But nothing- 

Literally nothing could have prepared me for that twist. The one secret that wasn’t shared. 

Mini spoiler!: skip to quotes  

Jess is an actual psychopath, a sociopath- all the names to describe a deranged individual. Throw them her way. I mean I understand how she felt after what Heather did but I had no words. 

Favorite Quotes: 

“In ten years,” Heather said slowly, “you’re not even going to remember the things that seem important now. You’re going to have totally different priorities. I bet you’ll look back and laugh at everything that feels so dramatic now.” 

Ashley Winstead,

I thought this quote was interesting because ten years from that, Jess didn’t really have different priorities. I felt like it stayed the same because her goal was to have people perceive her as this perfect individual. 

“I wanted them to see perfection. I ached for it in the deep, dark core of me: to be so good I left other people in the dust.” 

Ashley Winstead,

“Sometimes, you really didn’t have to lift a finger to get exactly what you wanted. Sometimes, all you had to do was sit back and do nothing.” 

Ashley Winstead,

This is when I saw Jess’s true psychopathic nature. 

Common Questions: 

Is there romance in in my dreams i hold a knife?

Yes. Mint and Jess were in a relationship. But before that Coop and Jess had some flirting back and forth, they ended up together in the end.

What was Jess’s secret that she didn’t tell the others?

Jess didn’t tell everyone that she was the last person to see Heather alive. 

Who killed heather?

Mint ended up killing heather because he thought she was Jess. 

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*This post may contain affiliate links, which mean I will receive a commission if you purchase through my links, at no extra. cost to you. 

Also as a amazon associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

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